:: The Man of Tomorrow ::

Okay, I’ll be stop pretending that I’m okay.

I’m not fine, really.

I don’t know what’s going on lately, it’s like there’s a haze around me, so that I can’t see things clearly.

I rushed things up, I didn’t do well on running some simple errands, I couldn’t even cleaning up the messes that I’ve done in the past.

Its just.. not like me.

And the worst of all, I’ve misread one important thing that could have been changed my life.

*sigh*

Oh, well, I’m just whining and babbling, just do ignore this.

A blast from the past [phrase] : something or someone that returns after a period of obscurity or absence. It is normally applied to things that that were thought fondly of previously and are making a welcome return.

~~~

PART I

I don’t exactly remember when I was first knew her, as far as I remember, I’m in 2nd grade of Senior High, which is around 1999-2000. I think it’s still in 1999, since we already in a relationship on the Ramadhan month *at that time, which is on January, 2000, CMIIW*

How we met and finally ended up as a couple, it’s kinda embarrassing to be told, huahaha..

We’re just high-school students at that time, after all.

Well, the story goes..

I lived in Depok, (further south of south of Jakarta) and she lived in Kalideres (west of Jakarta) , at that time, it feels like we lived in different city *which is quite-true*.

Well, yeaah, at that time, I barely used Pa-Per (Panah Perak a.k.a Silver Arrow, the name of my car) for my personal use, since it was the only car at that time, so, Dad rules !

So, to get there by bus, it takes around 1 and half hour on normal trip, plus the waiting time for the bus and the traffic jam in Jakarta, it’s possible to take around 3 hours.

To cut the story short, we’re sort of in a long-distance relationship. Most of the time, we just communicated by phone (dont be mistaken, it’s a fixed-line home phone, not mobile phone), chat or e-mail. The funny part is, even when I went to Makassar for Eid Mubarak, almost everyday I went to wartel (I don’t know the english word for this, its like a phone booth) to call her, attaboy.

I also didn’t remember how long we were in the relationship, becoz it just faded away, I’m stop calling her, and so did she. *most likely becoz I already have a new girlfriend, and apparently, so did she *

So, the story ends, and the memory of her slowly but surely fade out of me.

ends of part I ..

PART II

Couple of weeks ago, I casually click on “who’s viewed me?”, and my eyes was stop at a particular name, NaDa. First tought, “hmm, nice name..”, and second thought, “anyone that I know named Nada?” Yep, I knew one, I found myself answer. So, the third thought was, “is this Nada that I knew?”

I looked at the picture, but my brain can’t recalled of such a beautiful lady in the picture, so I open the profile. What an abandoned profile it was, the only thing in the “more about NaDa” is just :

Zodiac Sign:

Sagittarius

About Me:

i’m just an ordinary girl with an ordinary life

So, I clicked the photo gallery, luckily, there are quite a lot of photos. After looking all of the photos, I’m still not so sure what to do, so I leave her a message, asked her whether I knew her or not, and not to forget to give her a brief introduction, “Hi, I’m Hamdiy, *almost* 25th years-old”

The next day, there’s a reply from her, and SURPRISED, she turns out to be the Nada that I knew, my ex-girlfriend 8 years ago, *if it can be called so, since I never counted her as my ex, hehe* *No offense, Nad*

There was an eyecatchy thing of the message, that she’s correctly stated my birth date, so on the reply, I wrote, “wow, how could you even remember my bday?”, and on the next reply from her, she turns out to be even more creepy, huahaha.. *sorry, Nad*

Well, I can’t help it. Tell me, how can it be called not creepy that she’s still remembered my address, my telephone number, my full name *that even my current friends doesn’t know or bother to memorized*, the names of my best friends at that moment, and even my ex’s name before her, huahaha..

You truly are creepy, Nad.

Even more creepy, on our next2 conversations, it turns out that she also remember my email address that I tried to recalled, and this is the best part : she remembered the contents of love-letter that I even forgot ever wrote it, and sent her along with the Eid Mubarak Card *is it, Nad?*

Anyway, if you still have it, please do burn it, Nad, that will be very humiliating if someone that I know read it now, ahahaha..

See? That’s kinda creepy, you knoww.. Coz as for me, what I remembered about her is just that her name is longer than mine, and her house is at Kalideres, that’s all. I even forgot her full name, hehe.

ends of part II ..

~~~

Well, as for the final words, I’m so glad that we’re met again, Lina Nada Assyifa Nurshal Alganis Putri..

Can’t wait for the January to come..

Gwe sebelumnya ga pernah memakai blog sebagai media curhat, tapi yaa, there’s always a first time for everything, rite? =)

Well, mari kita mulai curhatannya dari hari Jumat kemaren..

Um, dari awal gwe bangun, malah dari abis makan malem hari kamis ituh, emang gwe udah merasakan adanya premonition, perasaan2 ga enak gitu deh.. Entah kenapa gwe sering mengalami hal ini sebelum hal buruk beneran terjadi.

Yaa, sampe jumat sore itu, things are still fine, except one little thing that i have to confess my mistake, but, yeah, that’s not count.

Begini ceritanya.. Jadi kan abis solat jumat, gwe ngenet dikampus seperti biasa. Pas sekitar jam 5an, temen gwe ngajakin balik ke kamar, tapi karena kunci kamar gwe dipinjem temen gwe, coz dia mau ngambil buku dia dikamar gwe, jadi lah gwe tetep dikampus nungguin dia, yasuw, sendirian lah gwe di kubikel. Temen gwe akhirnya dateng jam setengah 7 kurang, coz gwe masih download dan sekalian nunggu magrib, jadi lah gwe tetep di kubikel ituh.

Pas magrib, ya gwe solat dong, si Andrea gwe tinggal sendirian di kubikel, since ga ada orang yang gwe kenal untuk gwe minta tolong keep an eye on her. Yasuw, gwe ke musholla lah *tetep diruangan yang sama, btw*, nah, pas gwe balik ke kubikel, dari jauh gwe ngeliat, “ooh, si Andrea masih ada,bagus!”, nah, pas udah deket, kok di meja kubikel itu ada cairan2 coklat, pas udah lebih dekat, gwe baru ngeliat, “YA AMPUUNN!! MILO GWE TUMPAH!!”. Gwe langsung teriak dalam hati, “YA AMPUN KAMBING GWE!” in english, which is “OH MY GOAT!!, Andrea!” *anyway, can anybody actually do that, teriak dalam hati? How? Huhu, jadi ga nyambung*

FYI, milo itu posisinya sedikit dikanan Andrea, jadi yaa, Andrea ketumpahan milo. Gwe ga tau kenapa milo itu bisa tumpah, either ada angin ribut lokal tiba2, atau ada orang yang dendam ma gwe, jadi numpahin milo ke Andrea, atau ada orang yang mau maling si Andrea, tapi ga jadi karena dia numpahin milo, whatever lah, I don’t care.

Gwe langsung lari ke pantry ngambil lap sama tissue, balik lagi, turn-off Andrea *untuk menghindari kerusakan akibat arus pendek* *tjeh, sok tau, sok iye, sok anak fisika, hehe..
Pokoknya setau gwe klo barang elektronik kena air, harus dimatiin, dan baru boleh dinyalain klo udah bener2 kering.* Yasuw, gwe lap lah tuh si Andrea. Anyway, just FYI, to prove that i have a feeling, just like human do, gwe meneteskan air mata lho disela2 aktivitas ngelap Andrea. Bukan karena kesel ga tau sapa yang numpahin milo, atau panik karena takut Andrea rusak, its more likely just becoz I’m sad. Could you imagine if there’s something teribble happened to your spouse? You’ll be sad, won’t you?

I’m so sorry, Andrea. I truly am.
Next time, I’ll never left you unguarded ever again.

Well, saking sedihnya, gwe langsung pulang, naro Andrea dibawah kipas angin, abis itu gwe langsung tidur, ga makan malem. =(

Wait, wait. That’s not the worst part. I’m just about to tell you the saddest part is.

Ooh, before I talk about the saddest part, let see things differently. Well, the good news is, Andrea masih ada, ga dimaling orang. =)

Okeh, lets move to the saddest part.

Well, this is happened setelah gwe dikamar, abis berusaha mengeringkan Andrea, pas ditempat tidur, gwe mikir, “Oh my God, i dont know with whom i’m supposed to share this news”.

Trust me, that is so sad, when you know you dont have someone to share about your news, either its good or bad.

I’m not used to it, coz biasanya I always have someone to share my news. When I was thinking back then, the latest 3 people who I used to shared my news is popped-up in my mind, but still, I can’t text them.

The first one, she’s my close friend since forever, we’ve been thru so many things together, since highschool. But, since I moved here, plus, she’s back with her ex who is super-jealous to me, we’re not that close anymore. I can’t just text her to whining about this all of the sudden.

The second one, well, she might be my go-to girl rite now, but since I’ve just confessed about a mistake that i’ve done in the day before, so i dont know if it’s already the time she and I get back together like we were before. *nasib deh klo ga ngerti* Walau, yaah, akhirnya besoknya gwe sms sih ngasih tau untuk minjem hairdryer.

The last one that popped-up in my mind, well, i just dont feel like telling her, but i dont know the reason why.
Maybe becoz, compare to those two above, I’m even not his go-to guy. In fact,
she’s so seldom text me first, if its not for important things. But, that’s not the reason i dont text her. I dont know, maybe she’s in the happy place rite now and i’m not going to ruin her day, *again*. So, yeah, I just sleep that nite, with a mellow thought. =)

*terbawa suasana nih, gara2 Andrea kenapa2, gwe jadi mellow deh*

Well, anyway, about Andrea, setelah gwe hairdryer dan gwe nyalain lagi, yaah, it works properly, except the keyboard, some of it can’t work. =(

Aaarrgghh, emang kayanya bulan ini gwe harus ngabisin duit gwe, crap!

Ini cash flow gwe udah minus berapa ya bulan ini? Aaaahhh, tiddaaaakk..

Tenang, tenang.. Everything willbe just fine in the end, rite? =)

Entah kenapa ya, kejadian kaya gini sering  banget terjadi.

[Um, berdasarkan curhatan orang2 sih.]

Disaat kita udah moved-on, udah established dengan keadaan sekarang, entah itu udah punya pacar baru, udah nyaman dengan keadaan jomblo sekarang, atau keadaan baru apa lah, yang jelas kita udah masuk comfort-zone baru yang udah bebas dari that someone from the past.

Daann..

All of the sudden, si someone from the past itu datang kembali, entah dia memberi harapan semu ke kita, atau hanya sekedar menyapa, padahal sebelumnya udah lose contact sama sekali, atau mungkin dia terang-terangan membuka hatinya untuk kita.

Aaah, kamu.. Masih saja dapat memporak-porandakan hatiku.

Um, ada yang tau ga tukang reparasi hati yang oke?

It’s one of my designation, actually. Every time people got broken heart, either they’d come to me with the broken pieces of their heart, or I’ll come to them deliberately, as an ahli reparasi hati *gwe ga bisa meng-english-kannya*, no matter how much it shattered, into hundred pieces, thousand pieces, or even million pieces, somehow I can mend it into a whole again, until it ready to fall in love again.

Begitu juga dengan sayap, whenever people got broken wings, either they’d come to me or I’ll come to them, somehow I can cure it so it can be used to fly again.

But, now, it is me who got a broken heart and broken wings. This ache of the broken heart that I thought I will never experience, I felt it eventually.

And just like a hairdresser can’t fix their own hair, me neither. I need a tukang reparasi hati.

So, any suggestions, guys?